All the classic ‘after school special’ elements were in place… A neighborhood bully, a pudgy newbie to the block, a long walk home from school, and a lunch pail. They made ‘em strong in the 60’s, strong enough to cause a huge welt on the bully’s face one day after the round one had absorbed one too many comments about his extra softness. It was actually an impressive roundhouse type swing that caught the unexpecting agitator right across the jaw. Down quickly, he scrambled away in disbelief, a whimper turning into a wail as the full truth became both physical and emotional. The defender, ill treated by his father in later discussions, nonetheless enjoyed the fruit of ‘the incident’ through many future encounters with similar types.
Which brings us to adult relationships that cannot be fixed with such directness. And, when we try, in a stone aged approach to reconciliation and compromise behaviors, we lose so quickly and thoroughly, it makes our heads swim. Where’s the justice, we want to cry, knowing inside that we missed a few lessons in life from age 10 to the present. We might have the IQ to send an astronaut to Mars, but unless our EQ (emotional quotient) continues to mature, we’re likely to crash into planets large and small in our trips around the sun. We’re going to spend the next few posts talking about this missing link – EQ. Stay tuned.