No doubt, one of our greatest social commentators, gave us this pearl of wisdom, “Better Check yo’self ‘fore you Wreck yo’self”.
A rich vein of truth. Really.
Have you ever walked away from a conversation about something trivial and felt like by the time you left, you had experienced a nuclear event? What was your personal fallout? How did you respond? Here’s a thought. Like any good coach would, avoid asking the ‘why’ question, either about yourself or the other person. Instead, ask the ‘what’ questions followed by the ‘how’ questions. Maybe something like this…
What went wrong and what part did I play in it? What could I have done to avoid the downward trend of the conversation? What should I have said or done in place of what I actually said or did? How can I help in mending the damage that has been done to the relationship?
One of the greatest steps of personal maturity is to turn the spotlight off other’s behaviors and squarely on our own. We go from blaming someone else for the nuclear winter to naming the contributions we made to such devastating results. It does take courage to question ourselves. However, the act itself recognizes the only possibility of change is the change that happens in us – and no one else.
Be a coach – to yo’self.